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Caution: This article contains extensive lies, exaggerations, vulgarities and the standard stuff that Tea Republicans use to distort the truth! Read at your own peril - For Adults Only!
As a certified LL-LL, ("Lazy Left - Leaning Liberal"), I have included an expanded explanation of the LL-LL abbreviation and spelled it out, herein, within, this parenthetical device, for the benefit of the dimly light, dull, conservative tin foil wrapped heads that comprise much of the majority of the infamous Fox TV creation, The Tea Republican-Cons, currently denigrating Congress, and, their lower functioning, mentally unstable, inbred Twin, The Holier Than Thou, Born Again/Evangelical Christians, too, caught up in the ecstasy of their religious conversion to comprehend it otherwise.
I re-iterate, herein, again: "LL-LL" is the abbreviation for "Lazy Left Leaning Liberal". Please note that special tutors are available on-line to assist the Brain Dead, Brain Washed Religious Extremists with comprehension assistance, conversion kits, and, a free complimentary shredder for your Republican membership card, at no additional cost.
By continuing to read this political tome, you agree, not to share its contents with Conservatives, Tea Republican Patriots or the Lost Remnants of the once great party of Republicans, now, reduced to a sad lot of loud racists, religious fanatics and Neo-Cons. The goal of these groups is to return America to its "Original Constitution", the one that James Madison wrote with a crayola, not the one ratified by the Conventions of nine of the original 13 states. That Constitution, intently and falsely included the the insertion of the anti-christian section, known as the Bill of Rights or Amendments, which unfortunately were added to the Original Constitution which was composed of VII Articles.
Thomas Jefferson, the Libertine, while stationed in Paris, and, therein, exposed to the "sinful, wicked life styles" of the French people, (that persists to this day), forced the diminutive, 5' 4", James Madison to sucker the infant Congress into ratifying Jefferson's suggested Bill of Rights as "Amendments To The United State Constitution" as their first course of action, before Congress knew what it was doing, and, thereby, setting this once great Christian nation on a course of self destruction that would take nearly 200 years to achieve. And, may only be achieved in 2012 with the re-election of President Barrack Husein Obama and his Muslim/Socialist Coalition of Free-Loaders.
Presently, there is only one man that stand in opposition to the inevitable, Congressman Ron Paul, know by Washington insiders, as "Doctor Ding-A-Ling", he is currently campaigning on issues through a veiled format promoting "property rights, contract rights and a return of much of the governing powers to the individual states," which is the main plank in a plank less plank of Tea Republican ideas. The all consuming center plank is the unrelenting desire to return to America to the "Original Constitution".
"America has strayed too far away from our Founding Fathers intent", Dr. Ding-A-Ling Ron Paul states, while mesmerizing his audience with the reversed clarity of his soggy, flat, porous mind.
Unfortunately, for his adherents, the heavily medicated, senile senior statesman has little change of advancing his agenda since his core group is composed of mostly unemployed "pot heads", excited by the goofy doctors proposal to "legalize marijuana"! Paul's growing support base is titillated by his call for a complete pull out of the U.N., and, his pledge that, if elected, he will immediately return America to the foreign policy of George Washington, circa, 1789.
Dr. Paul's ever growing legion of "potheads" are voracious supporters, but, stoned most of the time and can not be counted on to show up at the right polling places on the right day or even within the right decade.
Therefore, I have composed this easy to follow Guide Book for disappointed Tea Republicans, Non-Rapture Born Again-ers who missed the "End of Times" train and are forced to hang around a bit longer until Pastor Terry of the Westboro Baptist Church tell them it is "time to go."
Book of Rules, Guides, and Suggestion For Living a Happy, Worry Free, Life of a Lazy Liberal:
Never Go To Work - Unless, you work in a Brothel; then, by all means, one must do their duty; the nation depends on you.
Resist the Urge to Get Out of Bed Prior to Noon. Rising earlier may cause blood to rush to the brain and result in migraines, a vague sense of ennui, feelings of guilt, or, an uncontrollable urge to bathe. Resist it at all cost! If you are going to the Occupy This! Mother @!$%#er! rallies anywhere in the Continental USA, one does not want to stand out!
Load Up on all the Available Government "Freebies", i.e., Free Government Cheese, free fleas, bed bugs galore, free TV while incarcerated, use of "free" Pel (Education) Grants while locked up; "free" room and board available in most public parks and a ton of "free" Food Stamps, courtesy of the soon to be re-elected "Food Stamp President", who social engineers have been conspiring to get elected even before he was conceived in the back seat of a bus in Kenya.
If You Don't Smoke - Start.
Stop Practicing Safe Sex and Swap it for "Free Sex."
In my research, I have come across thousand of miscreants, misfits and the mentally aberrant who have shared their rules and guidelines with me for "a long, cheap, happy life free of the constraints of worry or work". Please continue to share your pearls of wisdom with us by making unnecessary comments in the space reserved for "comments" at the end of this instructional tome or by simply hollering them out loud at public gatherings.
This is Wintrope Merrideth, The III, and I approved of this message, sort of, but, I swear that I don't have a clue what it means.
